Things To Think About Before You Become A Stay at Home Mom

by Jenn

DSC05388I read somewhere that many women work because they feel that they need to be validated by someone other than their children, and need to be in the company of adults as much as they did their children.  I wish this was my case, to be honest with you I wish more than anything I could become a stay at home mom.  However, right now there is no way for me to stay home with my babies.  Which is a huge boo, but it happens until the time is right I shall continue working full-time.

Working full time can be exhausting, and take away from the things you truly want to be working for.   I have a good job, I make decent money, I love the people I work with, it’s a rewarding job, there so much more room for advancement, and I used to like what I did.  That’s right, you head me correctly I used to like it, and part of me still does.  However, I don’t feel like that is where my calling is.  I feel like my calling is at home, being mom.  I mean I took on the job for at least the next 18 years, why not give it 110%.

There’s plenty of moms that are full time moms, that did it too.  They quit working to raise their children. Are you considering being a stay at home mom too?

The past few years I have not been able to put my foot on exactly what why I felt guilty.  About a month ago I dropped my daughter off at daycare, and it hit me.  I’m not supposed to be a full time working mom.  I’m supposed to be a full time mom.  I have worked my whole life, worked hard to get where I am at in my career, and now I want to turn and walk away from it all to be a full time mom.  I approached the crossroads and needed to decide the role I will play as a mother to my children.

Let me fill you in so you don’t think I am neglecting my older children, lol.  I didn’t have them as babies, they came into my life about a year before my daughter.  They are my children, really step children but I never tell anyone that.  Their moms are not in their life, so I am mom and a lot of the reason I have made my choice has to do with them as well.

So I have decided that I need to work myself to a place where I can be a full time mom.  Being a stay at home mom is a worthwhile experiance, it’s a job we are guaranteed to have for the next 18 years.  Life is unpredictable, but once you become a parent there is no more being selfish.  It’s no longer you, it’s about your children.  Everything you do is for them.  If I have learned anything in my adult years it is to follow my heart, it often leads me to more worthwhile choices.  Sure money is good, but when my child look back and remembers me I want them to remember me as being mom, not never being around.

The other day I was off work, my daughter freaked out.  She was so excited that her mommy didn’t have to work today.  It brought tears to my eyes, I want my child to have mom everyday.  Not just some days.  This is what set everything in stone, I’m now working hard to be the full time mom I am supposed to be.

I know in the end you’ll make your own choice about staying home, or heading back to the workforce.  Either way isn’t wrong or right, you know what is best for you and your family.

Here’s a few perks of being a stay at home mommy

  • No drama!  Okay, no more adult drama, lol.  Really, you’re not going to have to listen to the he said she said stuff. You’ll be too busy tending to your children.  I’m sure you can find some fi you need to, but you can also avoid the drama of life much easier.
  • Have more time for the ones that matter to you.  You’ll be able to do those things you’ve missed out on in the past.  Get up with your husband and make his lunch, make school functions, and first days of school
  • You can only have the chance to be mom once, children grow up so fast.  If you plan on staying home, you’re baby is only a baby once.
  • It’s now okay to lounge now and then.  Don’t totally give up getting dressed, but it’s okay to slack now and then.
  • No more making time for things that matter, or having to hurry and get things done on your lunch break.

So what are some things to think about before becoming a full time mom, and making the choice to stay home with your babies?

  • First of all, can you afford it?  If the answer is no, don’t stress out. It’s okay, it might take some time but it’s still possible, and if it’s not that’s okay too.  It’s something you’re going to have to deal with, and maybe get a less demanding job while you’re baby is young.  This is personally my issue right now, which is why I am working on my career as a blogger and to pay off bills.  I know that blogging isn’t stable income, and there could be month I make nothing I need to plan for that.
  • Retirement fund stop growing when you quit working.  If you’re employed hopefully you’re taking advantage of a retirement fund, if not than you can skip passed this one.  When you stop working, you’re retirement fund stops with you.  There’s nothing going toward your social security or pension plan when you stop.
  • What about the unthinkable?  Have you planned for those things that happen that we never plan for?  This one is always hard, even when you’re working. How will you handle something like this if you’re not working. What if you were to lose your spouse?  It’s sad but it happens, what if they leave you.  Will you be able to handle things on your own, or at least get a job quickly to pick up and move forward.

My personal opinion is to think about everything, is it really what you want.  Is your relationship stable enough that you can trust things will be okay.  I knew we never know what tomorrow hold, but you should not stop working if you’re not comfortable in your relationship.  There so many reason to not stop working, the choice is yours if you listen to your heard, and think about everything you will make a sound choice.  The right choice, it’s our jobs as moms to protect and care for our family.  You’ll do the right thing.

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bianca January 8, 2013 - 6:03 am
i really enjoyed reading this post! i hate working, or rather i hate working at the place i'm at because it's always drama one way or another and i feel like i don't need that stress in my life. but i'm a single mom and have debt, so until my debt is paid off, i have to continue to work :( i hope you're able to fully quit working and stay at home with your kiddos and blog :D
Jenn January 12, 2013 - 2:44 am
Thanks so much Bianca.. I am trying hard. I know you feeling and finding a place to work that is drama free well have not been in one yet... hope you're able to take care of everything and do what you need as well
Jessika January 27, 2013 - 9:36 pm
I'm a stay at home mom with my 6 month old and my boyfriend's 5 year old. Daycare is just too expensive and no relatives around to watch them for me to work. I feel bad him having to pay for everything but he assures me that it's okay and that we'll be alright. My college loans have to start being paid off and he's doing all he can to make sure we're provided for. As long as i'm supporting him and he's supporting me i feel like this can work! You'll be able to do it too. Hope everything works out!
Jenn January 29, 2013 - 4:41 am
I so agree.... thanks so much for you support it means bunches to me I am working hard! Love positive comments thank you
Lisa Ehrman March 3, 2013 - 4:34 pm
What a great post! You've thought through everything and followed your heart. I really think that will always lead you to the right place! Kids really do grow up fast (mine are 27,22, and 16). Enjoy every minute with them, drama and all!
Maria Iemma March 5, 2013 - 10:14 am
I was able to stay home when my kids were little but we made lots of sacrifices in order for me to do that. We had a budget and stuck to it. It was great for our family
Jenn November 29, 2013 - 12:55 pm
Thanks so much

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