5 Small Things You Can Do To Keep Your Marriage Alive

by Jenn

shawn n jenn blog photoIt can be hard to have a loving marriage and a family.  I think many of us often get stuck in the daily to-dos and forget about our partners needs.  Marriage is hard, and the last thing we want to do is leave our spouse feeling unloved and under appreciated.  It’s important to keep your children happy, but you have to keep your marriage alive too.

So what are some things you can do to ensure you and your spouse keep the spark alive even with children in the home?  Here’s a few things that you can do to help keep your spouse feeling loved and appreciated.

Quality Time Daily – I know it sounds hard and between kids, work, homework, dinner, baths, and everything else that comes along with having a family.  Spending quality time with your spouse is not only important for you, but for your family.

When I say spend quality time together I don’t mean go on a date.  I simply mean, lay in bed with one another for 30 minutes talking before falling asleep.  Takes showers together, cook dinner together.  My husband and I make it a point to spend at least 30 minutes together every single day.  Whether its cooking dinner, talking while we fold laundry, or actually spending time together after the kids have gone to bed.   With four children we talk our quality time how we can get it.  We always try to spend 30 minutes to an hour together after the kids have gone to bed, but that doesn’t always happen.  That’s when we settle for cooking dinner together or chit chatting while doing a household chore.

Talk – Communication is the key to any relationship.  If something is on your mind, say it.  If you’re wondering, ask it.  If you’ve had a bad day, tell your spouse why.  If the children have done something, tell your spouse.  Rather than getting all worked up and yelling, talk about it.  I know it can be hard, it might even require some work.  Talk about it, if you’re having issues they will never get fixed if you’re relationship doesn’t have room for communication.  Having an open and honest relationship is a must.

Say It – I don’t care what anyone says.  You can show me you love me all day long, yes I love it and I want more of it, but I want to hear it to.  Tell your spouse you love the, why you love the, let them know they’re attractive.  Flirt with one another, it’s fun and a nice confidence builder.

Date Night – Try to have a date night, just your and your spouse at least once a week.  If that is not doable try for twice a month.   This is a great way to grow closer together whilst having plenty of fun at the same time. In terms of the games that Ladbrokes offer, they range from TV/Quiz related games to original arcade games like, Supercubes and Royal Reactors.’.

Don’t forget the little things – If you’re wife like sunflowers bring her one every now and then just to show her you’re thinking about her.  Ladies if you’re husband like a phone call during the middle of the day, or you dressed up in something nice when he comes home, do it.  It’s those little things that let them know we’re always thinking about them.

We as parent spend so much time worrying about what the children need it’s easy to forget about what our spouse needs.   However in the end, it’s really about thinking about your partner and their needs.  When you first meet you couldn’t get them off your mind, you wanted to surprise them and make them happy every second of the day.  Things should not change because you have children.  If anything you should love this person more, this person who has blessed you with a family.  We might not be able to show it as much, but it does not mean everything stops because children are around.

As parents it’s normal to put the needs of our children first, just don’t forget about the needs of your spouse.  What are some things you do to keep your marriage alive?

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joanne gentry January 29, 2013 - 8:44 pm
Very well said and I agree with you wholeheartedly. Thank you for this wonderful and heartfelt post. It is so important that we take time for our spouses. It is so very easy to grow apart , especially in these difficult times. For me it is the little things. My husband and I say I love you every day, but it's more than that. He shows me through his actions as well, I know he has my back, and I his. Children are always watching, listening and learning, even when we don't think they are. When the people who care for them most are happy, I believe they will be too :) Nobody is perfect, we all make mistakes. I have made a gazillion of them, and I will tell you communication was key. I love Maya Angelou's saying, and I apologize ahead of time for not knowing it to quote it but it goes something like this: We do what we know how to do until we know better...then we do better. I am so thankful for each new day to do over and do better :)
Jenn February 4, 2013 - 2:43 am
Melissa R. January 30, 2013 - 10:13 am
I agree that it is important to communicate. Even when what you are saying is unpleasant it is better to have things out in the open then locked up eating away at you.
Rebecca Reinwalt January 30, 2013 - 9:32 pm
I think that there are a lot of men out there that need to read this post. I know my fiance' sure could learn a few good things from it.
Chevy Reid Roper January 31, 2013 - 1:10 am
I love these tips. They are right on point to keep a healthy marriage and keep the spark in the relationship. My husband and I are always telling each other we love the other and flirting with each other. You are definitely right in saying that it is hard with so much to do, but you have to make time. My husband and I always take time, even if it just for 2 minutes, to stop what we are doing, give each other a hug, and tell each other that we love each other. Great tips!
Jenn February 4, 2013 - 2:34 am
I so agree with you... just enough time to let one another know they still matter
Renee Travis January 31, 2013 - 2:13 pm
I love all these tips you have for keeping your marriage alive. Thanks for some great advice! :)
Jessica Fortner February 1, 2013 - 12:05 am
Very sound advice. I could only dream of having sitters to do a weekly datenight, but everything else is very doable. Thanks for the tips.
cole mckinnon February 7, 2013 - 11:56 am
Now this is a subject not often broached on blogs ... marriage. I have been married for over 40 years to the same man, and we have to work on our marriage every day. It is one of the hardest things in life I believe.
lisa February 10, 2013 - 6:08 pm
My husband and I are going on 22 years in a few weeks. Is it always easy? No. Is it worth it? I have to say yes!
Kimberly Davis February 11, 2013 - 2:28 am
Thank you for so much info.
Andrea Williams February 11, 2013 - 2:52 pm
Thanks so much for the tips and reminder. With all the bad examples out there in the world, our children need to see their parents love each other and take time for each other.
denise smith February 12, 2013 - 11:47 am
i love your post i agree 100% also i have been married for 15 years and we have 2 daughters our youngest is serverly autistic and nonverbal had alot of trouble with the school and she is self injury behavoirs towards herself and others it has put alot of stain on our marriage but we try very hard to do these things thanks so much
Beth February 15, 2013 - 9:05 pm
communication is really key. i would also my faith in my GOD. but whatever works for ya is great. ( :
Mary Gallardo February 18, 2013 - 1:34 pm
This is so true. You can't let things go unnoticed or unappreciated either. The one thing my marriage is lacking right now is a date night. We are in dire need of one, but never seem to have a babysitter. Other than that, things seem to be going pretty great! We are 4 kids and 7 years strong! haha
Chrystal D February 22, 2013 - 5:26 pm
I agree that date nights are a must! They can definitely keep the sparks going!
Jo Ann Moffatt February 22, 2013 - 6:31 pm
I tried pretty much all of the things above but my marriage didn't last. His pull towards the other woman was obviously too strong. I think men who leave for other women are cowards and don't try hard enough to keep their families together. He left me to live in financial distress while he went on to become wealthy. Of course, the relationship with the other woman did not last and therefore he caused all of this suffering for our children and myself for what? I really hope there is a higher power and you have a life review when you pass on. I hope men that have left a trail of destruction behind them are punished and made to feel the suffering they have caused their wives and children. I am so bitter. I really would like to see more couples stay together and talk to each other before anything life-altering happens.
Jenn February 22, 2013 - 6:35 pm
Hey girl, I agree 100% some men are just dogs... and they should feel the pain that they caused. In the end leaving for another women is just a coward it makes me sick, and sadly I think most men are cheaters... I with you on the bitter part, I've been in many relationships that ended in him cheating and me being the stupid girl that didn't want to believe it... I'm sorry you had to deal with that but you if ever wanna chat let me know..
Maddie K. February 22, 2013 - 8:58 pm
I agree with all of these. We are going through empty nest syndrome right now and while we have more time together my husband seems to be getting lazier, much to my annoyance. I'm not quite sure what to do or make of it, but it's putting a real cramp in my style and making me want to not be around him.
Karen Hand February 22, 2013 - 9:39 pm
Good advice. Having mutual respect for one another is essential to any marriage. I would say to never take your spouse for granted, and as you say, it is always nice to hear the words "I love you".
lisa February 24, 2013 - 7:32 pm
Communication is key. Being able to overlook little things that bother you is up there too.
Amanda Greene-Lebeck February 25, 2013 - 9:30 am
I totally agree with this post. I know in our family we are so wrapped up with my husband going to college full-time, working part-time, and taking care of our daughter, her extra curricular activities, and our pets, we definitely have our hands full. My husband and I are pretty good about having a little bit of time to ourselves at the end of each day or sometimes we too do chores together <3
Tata February 26, 2013 - 3:35 pm
Sometimes we just seem to forget the reason we have a family. The relationship is the basis of it all. My husband is so sweet that sometimes, without noticing, I take advantage of it. I do all the talking (and complaining) and forget how in love we still are. Thank you for the advices. Great ones.
Haley April 2, 2013 - 7:38 pm
I love these posts so much! It's so encouraging. I always always need to be reminded to take QUALITY time out for my husband
courtney t August 26, 2013 - 2:16 pm
what great advice. i think this is why it's important to get a really good solid foundation as a married couple before bringing children into the picture (if possible). these tips are valuable, nonetheless.
Cami September 13, 2013 - 8:02 pm
This is a wonderful post. I wish there was something like this fort when me and my hubby went through our hard time. We made it through but It was a challenge. If we followed these from beginningwe would not had a hard time :)
Caliens Contests November 30, 2013 - 2:45 pm
Thanks for sharing this. I realize this is an older post, but It is important to really remember and try to do these things when we're under stress. And holidays are about as stressful as you can get! I like the idea of folding laundry together. Sharing the kitchen doesn't work too well, no matter how much Hubby might like it!
Jenn December 1, 2013 - 11:54 pm
I couldn't agree more... it's so importnat! Thanks for your comment, I have been trying hard to keep up with both blogs but am so busy thist ime of year... thank you for looking at the older posts!

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